The Journey: Victoria

In the final episode of season 1 of Night Shift Delirium, host, Victoria continues a conversation with Mahnur as she discusses her own journey into medicine. From all of the countries she's lived in to the wonderful people she's met, Victoria's journey is far from traditional.


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Transcript

Victoria [00:00:06] Hey, and welcome to Night Shift Delirium, a podcast about junior doctors and the world that surrounds them. I'm your host, Victoria, a junior doctor based in England. 

Victoria [00:00:20] Welcome to the final episode of Season one, this is actually one of the first things that we ever recorded for the Delirium podcast, Mahnur,  Dorothy and I sat together during our shift one night and recorded ourselves having a very long conversation. So this was at the end of the shift and at the end of the conversation, truly a bit of night shift delirium. But it is my story. So many of my friends have entrusted me with their stories to present it on this platform. 

Victoria [00:00:58] So it's only right that I share a bit of my journey with you all today. Welcome to our shift. 

Victoria [00:01:07] Okay, We're back with the crew. 

Mahnur [00:01:10] So I'm going to take over for a second so we can hear Victoria's story. 

Mahnur [00:01:16] And you know how what brought you to medicine? 

Mahnur [00:01:21] And then more interestingly, what brought you to Broomfield, Chelmsford, Essex? 

Dorothy [00:01:28] And then what made you want to do this podcast? 

Mahnur [00:01:30] OK, so there is a lot to dissect in this story. But take us back right to the beginning. 

Mahnur [00:01:38] What brought you to medicine? 

Victoria [00:01:40] So just like yall my dad is a doctor. And I mean, I would say that I was quite rebellious about the fact that he's a doctor. So when you're growing up, obviously, everyone is like, oh, would you want to be like Africans always love hearing medicine and all these things. But it's the first thing that I ever wanted to be because I just thought it was so cool that, like, people used to show up at our house and they have a problem. And my dad is there and he's like, oh, like try this or like try this tablet. And he's like playing with his stethoscope and all of these things. 

Victoria [00:02:17] And interestingly, my dad did a PhD in pharmacology before medicine, so he moved to America for his master's and his Ph.D. And then at 40, when me and my sister were like two or something, he went to medical school. So I saw the process of him going through medical school and residency. And even though he was always tired, we always used to make fun of him for sleeping on the floor with books. And like we thought we were so smart and we're like, you're not even studying right now. Like we study and we know everything. 

Dorothy [00:02:52] Goodness.

Victoria [00:02:54] So we saw him go through it. And as difficult as it is, I was just so inspired. 

Victoria [00:03:01] I wanted to be just like him and like do exactly what he was doing. I went and that was  like when I was six, seven, eight, somewhere in that range, I sort of strayed a little bit from medicine, though, like I remember, like, so corny. But the like, AIDS epidemic was going on. And like all these like war in Rwanda and all these things that were like quite devastating as a nation. And I don't know why as a kid, I felt so deeply connected to like the sorrow in the world. It's like a very dramatic. But for a long time I was like, well, I'm going to go into research, I'm going to cure HIV. And like, that's just my purpose and like, it is what it is. Then I thought about being a nurse. My mom is a nurse, but every time I strayed from being a doctor, I always came back because the other things just didn't quite it didn't hit like like medicine did. So anyway, skip to like high school every single summer. I did like summer programs at universities, different medical schools for people who are interested in medicine. But for us, it's it's different than like the UK because you have to go to college or university, then medical school. So it's kind of it's rare for like 14 and 15 year olds like where you guys were when you're making these decisions to be thinking as long term as medicine, these programs are designed literally to create an interest because like most kids, when they're 15 in America are like at the mall, there's not anything else really going on. 

Mahnur [00:04:43] But it's so fascinating. I mean, that's for another time. But it's fascinating how much responsibility and agency the UK puts in there. 

Mahnur [00:04:50] It's insane because like they let you drink, drive everything from 18 onwards in the US is 21. 

Victoria [00:04:56] Yeah.

Mahnur [00:04:57] And we've all seen the high school college film. They're doing it before that. 

Victoria [00:05:01] But legally. Yeah. 

Victoria [00:05:05] So I did that. I went to college. So I did in high school IB, which is International Baccalaureate. I was very interested in psychology. I've not ever been a good science student. I've always struggled and when I say struggling, like struggling to get Cs like I never was, that person who like did really well and my twin sister is a beast at life. She's literally the smartest person I've ever met, period. So like she would be, I remember she would cry over, like, her exam scores. And we're in the same class. Mind you, I've, like, come up with a whole story about why I don't have an assignment or like why I'm not like I didn't do well. 

Victoria [00:05:46] I have everything set. Then I look at her and she always had her homework, like we were just so opposite in that way. 

Victoria [00:05:54] And I remember she, like, cried one day because she had a B. And I just like at that moment I knew that we were different. 

Victoria [00:06:03] I'm crying because I'm trying to like, pass the course that, like, we're applying to colleges.. Anyway. 

Victoria [00:06:08] So I did psychology for my higher level subject in IB and Spanish and some other things. 

Victoria [00:06:16] And when it came time to go to college, I mean, not that I didn't take it seriously, but sort of because I was used to being among the people who are like high achievers. 

unknown [00:06:30] Are you guys just chatting... 

Victoria [00:06:31] We did get interrupted there, but I did want to share this little story. It was during that time that one of my teachers in high school told me that I was lazy in the brain. And it's something that stuck with me because I can say honestly at that time, I was. Now, would she believe where I am now? Maybe not. But that's not really my concern. 

Mahnur [00:07:00] And we are going back to Victoria's story. I remember where we were. I had just asked you what was your journey to medicine? And you had started telling us about contrasting you and your sister's perceptions of Academia. 

Victoria [00:07:18] Yeah, she was always the one who was very light on it, very smart, very sort of focused. And when we got to college, like applying into colleges, she had the highest GPA in the entire school or like I think of minorities or something. But my high school had three thousand people in it, so that was not a small feat. We had IB, we had AP, we had all of the things. She was flown out everywhere in the world, I mean, in the country for admissions. And I was not. I only wanted to go to University of Chicago, but I didn't get in and I was devastated. So I was like, I don't know where I'm going to go. I didn't really think about, like, what another backup would be. And then my dad had a friend who's Ghanaian as well, and his daughter went to Xavier in New Orleans. And Xavier, you know, it's like a very small, like historically black Catholic University. It's very niche, I think. And I went the year after Katrina as well. So like being in New Orleans, the admissions was weird, everything was off. But they're well known for being for putting minorities into medical school. So they're like number one in the country for that. And so I was like, OK, fine. I mean, I guess I'm going to do medicine. I'll just go. I didn't really think much about I didn't know it was a historically black college, which I grew. I didn't grow up around like a lot of black people. So I was like kind of nervous. 

Victoria [00:08:56] And yeah, I got really lucky because I was feeling really dejected, like I wasn't going to get into any colleges, even though it was just this one school that just, you know, broke my heart. But my dad was very convinced. So I turned in my application for the university after the admissions deadline by like a week or two. I my dad tells me the day after I submitted to call and find out how much my scholarship is going to be. 

Mahnur [00:09:25] That is the kind of support we need in our lives. 

Victoria [00:09:27] And hone stly, like lines apart, I was like, I've not even been accepted. How dare I? But I did it. And they, like, gave me a little scholarship. So it was nice. And I just got really lucky in the end because I didn't really look at, like, the small, smaller schools, really. 

Victoria [00:09:44] I only thought of, like, the big names. But this one kind of just came to you. It just came to me. I had no idea really what an HBCU was like... I never really looked at going to New Orleans. Part of me felt called and like this very spiritual way to go there, like which is very egotistical in retrospect, but like I'm going to go and help New Orleans rebuild and all this stuff that's like an eighteen year old. It's not necessarily realistic. But yeah, I went and I got loads of credit from my IB diploma and somehow I went from, like, you know, feeling so dejected and rejected, not getting into these schools and feeling like I wouldn't have a future to like entering into college as a second semester sophomore. So basically, I could have finished a four year program in two years, but I really believed in sort of like the social aspect of college and like how it's important to grow and develop. So I added a second major. So in college I ended up doing Spanish as B.A. Psych as a B.S. and then I had a minor in chemistry. 

Mahnur [00:10:50] Oh, wow. 

Victoria [00:10:52] I happened to get a lot of credit, so I had time. 

Victoria [00:10:55] And by the time I mean, I took the maximum amount of courses every single year and like, stressed myself out. My story with medicine is not as I don't know, it's a little bit different than you was because no comparison. I like really, really, really struggled in my sciences. Like, I'm not really a science person. I'm very social science oriented. It was really hard for me. And I'm also very determined, like both you and Dot. You know, I just kind of had this idea I'm going to do it my way. I don't really care what they say. And I remember I decided to go to Spain third year because I think it's pretty essential if you're going to, like, graduate with a degree in Spanish, you should be able to be close to fluent. And I went to the premed office and I told them that I was going to go to Spain and they were like, well, you're probably not. Going to be a doctor then, and I was like, wait, what do you mean I'm not going to be a doctor? They're like, Yeah, like this is the time you need to be focusing on your MCAT and, you know, your science grades aren't great. 

Victoria [00:12:03] And so, like, you're just probably not going to be one. And I was like, well, does that mean I'm not going to be one at all or not within this time frame? Is that what you're saying? 

Victoria [00:12:11] They're like, yeah, I mean, we don't really see these situations like work in people's favor. And so you're probably not going to make it. 

Victoria [00:12:19] So I have that in my mind. Like, oh, gosh, they said I'm not going to be a doctor, but I've been stubborn my whole life. 

Victoria [00:12:27] So I was like, so I was like, whatever. I'm going to do what I want to do. I think that it's essential that I go on this exchange program and pursue my other passions, which at this time I'd started to develop passion and public health. So yeah. So I ended up going to Spain. 

Victoria [00:12:47] I came back. 

Mahnur [00:12:48] So if you're a true follower of Vic on the gram. Then you would have seen the throwbacks in Granada that she put up the other day. And I was here for it. 

Victoria [00:12:58] Oh my gosh. I love, love, love, love, love, Andalusia. It's just such a rich place. 

Dorothy [00:13:05] Would you say you have a love of Europe? 

Victoria [00:13:08] I have a love for culture. And so... 

Dorothy [00:13:12] She woke yall. 

Victoria [00:13:15] Yes, I went I came back and I at that point decided,. 

Mahnur [00:13:20] But,How did you feel? 

Mahnur [00:13:20] You know, I mean you took this decision and somebody of authority was telling you, you know what, if you were going to make the decision in favor of your kind of like humanities program, your Spanish B.A., like you are going to sacrifice your medical dream. 

Victoria [00:13:33] Yeah.

Mahnur [00:13:33] And you took that decision. But but it sounds like you didn't think that that was the case and it wasn't. 

Victoria [00:13:39] No. I mean, I say all the time that medicine was the best decision of my life and also the most selfish one because I was stubborn. Like, I didn't care what they said. I knew that at some point I would like achieve my goal. And I have thankfully had the support of my friends and my family. So, like, if someone says that they're not going to that they've not seen it happen before, they're not in control of my destiny and I'll be the first person that they see to reach that goal, you know? So, I mean, definitely I think probably at the moment I was irritated, but that's not new. Every single year of grade school, my poor parents were called because I was getting in trouble, not for like fighting or anything like that, but for talking too much. I've always been someone who was like a little against the grain and not really fit fitting into particular boxes, the typical sort of path or whatever. So, yeah, I mean, it was a little annoying, but also I was like, just watch, you know what I mean? Like, it's fine. 

Mahnur [00:14:41] Yeah.

Victoria [00:14:42] So yes, I went to Spain. It was amazing. I came back and I was like, I want to do with it. Oh. So I was in Spain for six months and I finished my degree requirements for my Spanish. So I came back just to finish off psych and chem. I came back and was like, I want to do public health. I've been spying this Duke program, which was very heavily focused on research. I don't know. I just felt like a good fit for me. So I applied for that program and it was sort of because my whole life I've wanted to be a doctor. People didn't really know what to do with that. They're like, So are you going to be public health now? Are you going to continue with medicine? Are you going to be an interpreter? What is your point? What is your goal? And I didn't necessarily like know, but I knew that I wanted to make it all work. So I applied for the global health program at Duke. And luckily, it was the only grad program I applied to and I got in. And it worked out to my favor with the best program that really I could have hoped for. Yeah. 

Victoria [00:15:55] So anyway, Duke was great, but prior to going to Duke, I did a research program with National Institute of Health in Peru with these sort of communities and like child development. And that's where I was like, OK, research has to be part of what I want to do. It was the most devastating in a way. 

Victoria [00:16:15] It was devastating because you saw how little people had and they were still so joyful and they were still so full of life, but they lacked things like education and exposure. So the study that I was doing was on child development and norovirus and sort of looking for a correlation. But many of these women just didn't know that, like, you should talk to your children for like a brain plasticity, you know, encouraging them. They just didn't get it. 

Victoria [00:16:42] So you saw a lot of kids who were mentally delayed because of .... 

[00:16:51] It wasn't negligence because of. Intentional, intentional. Yeah, they just didn't know. 

Victoria [00:16:56] And so these kids who should be meeting these goals of, you know, putting blocks on top of each other and counting and things they did and they weren't able to do anything. And so it was sort of my first exposure of like research and medicine working together. Oh, that's fascinating. It was so life changing. I mean, that's where. And this was right before starting the academic side of global public health. So that's where I really feel that I found sort of my purpose. I was like, wow, this is what I need to commit my life to in some capacity. So, yeah. So that was a life changing experience. 

Victoria [00:17:32] I went on to do the Duke program. 

Mahnur [00:17:34] So I can I can I just ask, where did this experience kind of materialize from? 

Mahnur [00:17:38] Is it something that you, like, sort out as something that you thought about as a yes. How did it come into you know about it,. 

Victoria [00:17:44] So this was in my senior year of college. 

Victoria [00:17:48] I saw the program and one of the program leaders asked me if I would be interested in it because I'd done research all through undergrad and I interviewed for it and, you know, had to prove that I could speak Spanish. This is where the Spanish really helped because it was child development, which was which is sort of like psych related. That's like like psychology, but sort of like development and then the Spanish. So, like, it ended up being a great intersection. And it's a program called MHIRT. I don't really know if it exists anymore, but it's geared towards minorities in sciences through the National Institute of Health. So you apply, you get a grant, they pay for your lodging, they give you a stipend, and you just go and have this life changing experience for three months, which was great. It's interesting now because one of my housemates went to Saint or was a doctor at St. George's and University of London, and that's where I ended up doing a medical program or whatever. 

Victoria [00:18:50] But anyway,. 

Mahnur [00:18:51] Wait, One of your housemates and I had come from Georges. 

Mahnur [00:18:55] And then you ended up studying at Georges. 

Victoria [00:18:57] It's just so weird like, the world is so small. So, yeah. So after my Peru project, I went to Duke and did the program there. And of course, as usual, I had to do my own thing. Most people go, you learn sort of the theory and the practical bit of like research and public health. And then you join a a research project that's already been done. But I decided I was going to do my own thing and I decided I was going to go to Ghana, where there... 

Mahnur [00:19:31] And they had the flexibility in the program to allow you to take your project to Ghana. 

Victoria [00:19:35] They were very flexible, although they like they warned me that that was a massive undertaking because they didn't have a strong presence in Ghana at the time. So, like thinking about how you're going to work with, like statistical units, like assistants to actually carry out the research. And that will do it in a way that's acceptable by IRBs. All of these are very cumbersome and very difficult to do, which is why most people just go and join someone else's project and then analyze the data or whatever. But they didn't have what I wanted, which was something in Ghana. Like very specifically, I targeted all of my studies in towards Ghana. So like if I took a course on global mental health, I focused on Ghana. If I took the course on my nutrition or policy, all of my projects, all of my research was focused on like West Africa. 

Victoria [00:20:27] Why wouldn't I continue and, like, make my own project? 

Mahnur [00:20:31] So it's a two year degree? 

Victoria [00:20:35] So you can do if you're in medical school already, you can do it in one year. If you're not in medical school and your whatever outside of that part, you can do it in one and a half. I took two years because if you do it in one and a half, the allocated time for research is six weeks, which is not that long at all. So I ended up taking five to six months for my research projects because I had to do everything from the ground up. 

[00:21:01] It's very hard to do things when you're not physically there. So trying to get meetings with people over the phone emails, I'll tell you all of these things and then like, you get there and you're like, oh, literally nothing has been done. It was a very, very, very, very labor intensive, not passion project because this was a requirement for my thesis and things. But yeah. So I luckily have family who works in public health in Ghana. So they were able to sort of connect me with different entities and Ghana Statistical Service and University of Ghana as a public health department and standalone research centers. And I went and I did a prevalence study on depression in two different tribes. So my tribe is matrilineal, which means like money is passed through women. 

Victoria [00:21:55] Women tend to be more independent because their sense of identity is not necessarily tied to their husbands. And then a patrilineal, which is like your traditional sort of like you marry into a family and things like that. It was the hardest thing, but also the most rewarding thing because they were so excited. Participate in this and you go to a developing country, they're like you ask, do you ever feel down for or do you ever, like, have anxiety? And they're like, what are you talking about? Like, this is rural Ghana. We don't like doing what we have time for these things. These are, you know, and then you realize like we had a prevalence in the patrilineal tribe of like 35 percent of depressive symptoms. And that's not you know, that's like a validated source, not just me asking random questions. So you realize there's an unmet need anyway. So my Ghana project was really, really also transformative for me as well, because my research assistants were doctors, which is ridiculous. I'm this kid who's like thinking she's a big deal in Ghana and doctors are my assistants. 

Victoria [00:23:07] But we would go to these very remote communities, which even though I'm from Ghana, I'd never been to or like. 

Victoria [00:23:13] So we went and we saw this kid with like this distended abdomen and like scars and all these things. And my assistant went and did a quick assessment like head to toe. And I was like, fine, I'm going to come back in a week. I'm going to give you some tablets and you take it and you'll be better or whatever. 

Victoria [00:23:33] And I was like, wow, I have to go to medical school. You know, it was just so nice to see, again, the combination of research and clinical medicine and sort of like Re-root myself, because at this point I'm speaking Spanish, I'm doing psych. 

Victoria [00:23:51] I'm like doing a bit of research, boss, you know, I'm doing all these things. 

Victoria [00:23:57] I'm like, what was the goal? What was I doing? You know what I mean? And in that moment, I was like, OK, you need to be serious. You need to like take your exams, you need to study, you need to take some extra courses if you need to and apply for medicine. So I re-rooted and when I finished my program, I then had to go back and look at things because even though I'd finished all of these degrees or whatever to be competitive enough to apply, I needed to like retake classes. So I hadn't failed anything, but I hadn't done well enough in physics and chemistry. And I took those classes like. Physics one and chemistry general chemistry two, I took each of those classes three different times over and over and over again, and I just was not like it didn't I didn't understand why I wasn't getting it, because I did really well in physics, physics, too, and organic chem like. So why were these things? And I just had to sort of like reevaluate, which meant one, not taking them at the same time because duh..but I didn't realize that the second go round, I took them separately. I ended up doing really well the last third and final time. Thank you, Jesus. 

Victoria [00:25:12] And I went to do some sort of like additional science courses in Philadelphia, where I also decided to do like a year of wet lab research. And like, it was so weird we were doing it. 

Mahnur [00:25:26] Tell us what what lab research is. 

Victoria [00:25:28] Yes. What lab research is like, what people think of with sort of like scientific experiments. 

Mahnur [00:25:34] So the traditional view of what we think of. 

Victoria [00:25:37] Yeah.

Victoria [00:25:37] Like nonclinical basically. 

Mahnur [00:25:39] White coat test tubes. Yeah. Mixing of potions. 

Victoria [00:25:42] Yeah.

Victoria [00:25:45] Types of premedical students, the classic premed, is focused, determined, they major in biology or chemistry in undergrad or take your standard A level courses failure to plan is not their ministry. They're used to being among the top scores on exams and generally the teacher's favorites. They volunteer in hospitals over the weekend and participate in some other activity that's perfect for their applications, but not enough to distract them from their work. They're mildly socially awkward, but not enough to raise any flags. 

Victoria [00:26:24] The super genius. This is the person who took university level courses in the first year of high school. They already have two to three publications before applying and junior year of college. 

Victoria [00:26:37] They spend a lot of time online. They rarely engage with the peers that they no longer relate to, asking them a question is a mistake we all make. The level of detail takes 10 minutes longer than desired, but you always leave with a deeper understanding of the topic until you forget it 30 minutes later. And then we have the legacy premed, this is someone whose parents and grandparents and great grandparents are doctors, often they went to big name schools and their network is truly their net worth. They spend a lot of time talking about what their dad or mom said or did and how what is happening in present day is wrong. They're rarely the top achiever, but generally do well enough and get the shadowing and intern experience necessary to secure their spots in a medical school. And then you have the free spirit. 

Victoria [00:27:40] The free spirit is the person who wants to save the world. Medicine is a mere vehicle to enact that change. The passion this person feels for the world is palpable and sometimes distracts them from other important aspects of the pursuit, like mmm exams, this person has protest under their belt, fearless of any repercussions on their applications and at least three service trips included before they apply. It's not uncommon for them to delay their journey into medicine in exchange for a year of dedicated, passionate work. 

Victoria [00:28:22] The scattered premed, the scattered premed is never on time. 

Victoria [00:28:27] Deadlines are but a mere suggestion. They don't know exactly how they're going to get to med school, but they know it'll happen. They're high achievers and chronic over extenders. They say yes to everything. And in grade school, they were always told that they had a lot of potential. Their journey into medicine is challenging because they struggle to focus on one task at a time, but they have a large circle of support from all of their various activities to help them along the way. Lastly, we have the nontraditional premed. The nontraditional student has encountered the aforementioned many, many times in their journey and likely has been one or more prior to the application. They have a little time to spare because at this point they have tunnel vision. Life has taught them about the value of intention, and sometimes their mature perspective can translate as dismissive or pretentious to their colleagues. Nevertheless, they are the rare example of a person you don't mind doing a group project with. 

Victoria [00:29:35] Their focus ensures the job will always be done. 

Mahnur [00:29:41] But I would also love to hear about your experience of kind of studying and working at the same time and how that compared to when you did your degree first time around where you were just studying. 

Victoria [00:29:54] Yeah. I mean, I think the biggest difference between my Philly days and like my New Orleans days is that I was just a lot more mature and a lot more aware of what I was doing, because in college I was an R.A., I was in a sorority. I was like the African Student Union. I just did everything. 

Victoria [00:30:14] I did research it just I had a lot of other things to do, but I wasn't focused and I didn't really see the point in it, to be honest, because I was like, well, I mean, I get it enough. 

Victoria [00:30:25] So I don't need to know everything. But obviously that's not OK when in the future you're going to be dealing with people's lives. Yeah. And then in Philly, like, they gave us this crazy speech during one of my classes, like you can complain about, like your lecturer and you can complain about your colleagues and you can complain about this and that. But at the end of the day, it's you who's sitting for your exam. So like, either you care enough to, like, do something about it or you don't. I'm not like you can't change how a professor is interacting with you. So, like, what are you going to do? Are you going to sit and complain about how are you going to just adapt and work hard, like, make a difference? And I just was like, oh my gosh, I'm responsible for my education. No one else. 

Victoria [00:31:09] I can't say that the teacher didn't like me or like they were mad that I was talking in class, like all of these things that when I was younger I was very quick to, like, displace the blame and not take ownership for my life. And so that changed my complete perspective. Like from that moment on, I stopped being like, oh, well, they were mean and like it's like, no, if it's your life, you have to be held accountable for it. No one is living it for you. Yeah. So that was major. That was a big, big life change. So anyway, finally, finally. Oh, I took like my cat as well. Like, I just did all the things and I felt I wasn't going to be competitive enough for us like medical school. And so I wanted to be like smart and strategic because also at that point I realized I didn't want to live in the U.S. anymore, like not in a full time, full time, like for my future. I don't want to be there. So where was the best place to go? Obviously, the closest thing to like America is the UK. And also I thought the UK had like, you know, it's very interesting. You've got the NHS, you have all these it's like the prime example of like socialized care. And it just felt like maybe it would be a good fit. I also thought about going to Ghana because that's where I want to be long term. 

Victoria [00:32:34] But I ended up not going to Ghana for a lot of different reasons. 

Victoria [00:32:40] And that's like a conversation for another day. It was very, very spiritual, prayed about it. 

Victoria [00:32:45] I got to like, let me meet someone or bring someone into my life that needed me to stay in America and that didn't have to be romantic, could have been platonic or something. And I ended up meeting my partner during that period. So I ended up staying and then focusing on the UK. So I like did random research, saw this thing called PBL, which at the time sounded amazing. It sounded perfect. 

Mahnur [00:33:16] We have all been conned by PBL. 

Victoria [00:33:22] I was like, this is it. Finally all these years of schooling, this is the one that's for me. 

Victoria [00:33:29] And I was like, oh like Georges is one of the first programs to do this well. So this is where I have to go. Started the application came across this whole UK versus non UK thing that you talked about with like the different and difference in prices. And I was like, this is not attainable for me. So I stopped the application and they reached out to me like, oh, you started this application. Would you be interested? And you see that you're American. Would you be interested in our Cyprus branch? If you go to this program, you'll be eligible to like have your clinical years in America, which is essential if you want to ever, like, train in America. 

Mahnur [00:34:10] Wow. So they could have targeted you. 

Victoria [00:34:12] One hundred percent. 

Victoria [00:34:13] They targeted most of us. 

Mahnur [00:34:15] That's really interesting. I mean, that's how Cyprus came into your life. 

Victoria [00:34:19] Oh, absolutely. Because I never would have known anything about it. 

Mahnur [00:34:24] So you were actually starting a direct application to Georges, because we like in the UK, when we apply to medical school, we usually apply through like kind of like, you know, how you have COMMONAPP in the US, we have UKAS. And so it would be like a centralized application. So the university would actually be able to contact you directly. Yeah, that's really interesting, so you were applying for, like a four year grad program to St Georges. 

Victoria [00:34:45] Yes.

Mahnur [00:34:45] Directly,.

Victoria [00:34:46] Yes.

Mahnur [00:34:47] OK.

Victoria [00:34:48] And so I was like first I was quite hesitant because, like Cyprus, do they speak English? What's the deal? They guaranteed me that it would be like there are loads of people who speak English. It's not a problem, blah, blah, blah. Obviously that was ... 

Mahnur [00:35:03] But yeah, it's a colony, of course. 

Victoria [00:35:07] Yeah. All right, fine. Maybe it's like a Ghana situation. I don't know. But I was very wrong. 

Victoria [00:35:11] Anyway, I agreed to apply that gave me a scholarship. So even better. 

Mahnur [00:35:15] Excellent.

Victoria [00:35:17] It just like things seemed to sort of like work itself out. I ended up having to defer for a year once I was accepted and spent a year working, which was another amazing experience and another sort of like. 

Mahnur [00:35:31] In research or...?

Victoria [00:35:32] Yeah, in research and optho research and just sort of further made me feel committed to a career in research in some capacity. 

Victoria [00:35:42] Yeah. Then I went to Cyprus. My first few years were very difficult. One sort of just stepping back into that world of like science, like proper science was challenging. 

Victoria [00:35:55] And then my first year of med school, my partner passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly and not a few months after almost a year after my aunt passed away very suddenly, very unexpectedly. And so the first few years were really, really, really challenging. 

Mahnur [00:36:15] And and both of them passed away in the US? 

Victoria [00:36:19] One in Ghana and one in the US. 

Mahnur [00:36:21] And you were in Cyprus. 

Victoria [00:36:22] And I was in Cyprus. Yeah. 

Mahnur [00:36:24] So it's a really difficult position to be in. 

Victoria [00:36:27] Yeah, definitely. Really hard.  To leave Cyprus... It's like two days of travel. And in both instances, I was by myself for a couple of weeks before, you know, I could like family could come and visit me and things like that. And the time difference between Cyprus and America is like, I don't know, nine hours or something crazy. So it was very hard. I mean, I won't sort of sugarcoat it at all. Yeah. I mean, I think medicine was my saving grace in many, many ways. I remember when my partner passed away, my dad, like my parents, were, of course, so worried. And I mean, I, I, I was worried for myself. 

Victoria [00:37:07] And my dad said I think it was the same week because when I found out it was like 3:00 a.m. and I still went to PBL, the infamous PBL the next day and my tutor looked at me, I was like, you need to go home, like, what's going on? Anyway, so I took one day off and then I was back after that. 

Victoria [00:37:24] But my dad, I was just so overwhelmed at the time with my emotions. And I remember my dad saying, like, no one is going to judge you if you want to come home, it's OK. My parents have been incredibly supportive throughout, again, the most selfish journey of my life, trying to become a doctor. But he said no one is going to judge you. It's fine. You can take a year even longer. I went to medical school when I was forty. You know, it doesn't matter how old you are. And if you need to get yourself together, that's OK. But at the same time, if you want to stay, you are in a position now where you've worked your whole life to be and you have the opportunity to make a difference in thousands of people's lives in the future. So it's up to you either way. It's OK. And it really stuck with me because it's true. Like I being a doctor, you are in a position to help so many people and it is an honor and it is a privilege to be in that position. That doesn't mean that we're not human, but it's special and it's not something to be taken lightly. So I stayed I sort of pushed through and I mean, having lectures to study every day in between, like crying and being like hysterical and things actually gave me something to do. And like it was a motivating force. I mean, it was during that time, it was hard for me to even get out of my bed. It was very hard to just fathom a world where everything was normal for everyone else. And I just, you know, it was survival. But waking up to go to classes and to go to lectures and to, like, not cry for six hours in the day was a motivating force for me. And it really saved me in many ways. And it made me quite resilient and strong. Going into your third year of med school and sort of the US system, they can be they can be really mean. There's no other way to put it. They pimp the med students. They challenge you. Not that they try and break you, but some do, not everyone. But the ones who are weak in themselves do. I'm talking about residents and life even as a culture. But yes, the culture. But. Going through what I had gone through, not even just the bereavement, but like the amount of hurdles that I've gone through, like the amount of people who told me that I could never be a doctor or I should look at something else or I should consider something else, nursing or whatever. I have countless stories of those. I've got countless of people who encouraged me as well. And so entering third year, I was like, you know what? You can't break me like I'm already broken. And, you know, you can't break something that there's there's nothing left to shatter. And I've made it this far. 

Mahnur [00:40:13] I think you've touched on so many different elements along this story, like it's been such a emotional roller coaster. 

Mahnur [00:40:20] But, you know, you've talked about kind of the academic resilience that you built up and then the like, resilience via things like the bereavement that you had to go through and then the moves and the like, you know, the like, different facets of your life. 

Mahnur [00:40:35] And by the by the time you've reached this third year of medical school, you've had just experienced so much that, yeah, I get where you're coming from, where you were just like, you know what, come at me now, you know. 

Victoria [00:40:46] Yeah. Truly, truly. 

Mahnur [00:40:50] You know, you had been through so much, but you were equipped. 

Victoria [00:40:53] Yeah, absolutely. 

Victoria [00:40:55] As painful as life can be, like, I truly believe God has a purpose for everything. And, you know, I had and many people have these tests throughout. And it's just like sometimes you just got to keep going and wait for God to, like, clear the fog. And He did. I worked my behind off in third year, like and I would like to say that I was one of the stronger students and it was backed up by, like, my references and things like that. Finally things were sort of turning around and. Yeah. 

Mahnur [00:41:26] And where is it that you were in the US? 

Victoria [00:41:28] So I went to this hospital very small, like community hospital in Chicago. 

Mahnur [00:41:34] So you got to go to Chicago? 

Victoria [00:41:35] I got to go to Chicago. Oh, my Gosh. Mahnur! Chicago. 

Victoria [00:41:42] My dream city. Yes. Oh, my gosh. I'm so glad that you remembered that because I forgot to say it. It was like finally I got to go to my dream place. 

Victoria [00:41:52] All this time I've been trying to get to Chicago and like, yeah, it was beautiful. It was beautiful. And yeah, you know, like, my story is long and drawn out. And like has a million different chapters. And I would like to say I wouldn't change anything, but I certainly would change losing people that were my wings, you know, like, absolutely. But nevertheless, like, I trust God in everything. Yeah. And being here in the hospital, like. 

Victoria [00:42:28] Oh, so I guess I should just quickly say I went back to Cyprus for fourth year, finished that up for. 

Mahnur [00:42:35] We won't go into why. 

Victoria [00:42:36] Yeah. And ended up. 

Mahnur [00:42:42] User Discretion is advised. 

Victoria [00:42:43] Yeah.

Victoria [00:42:45] I applied for the UK for residency. I wasn't applying for U.S.. Yes I'd like did it, did my sjt. Luckily I did pretty well on it somehow again like just miracles. 

Mahnur [00:42:57] It's a not science based. 

Victoria [00:43:00] It's a nonscience based exam. So for once it's like anyway. 

Mahnur [00:43:05] Human factors. 

Victoria [00:43:06] Yeah exactly. And it's what saved me on SJT and like luckily I got, you know, my total number was OK, it wasn't too bad. But then they said, you know, like if you're not from the UK or Europe, you can't get a position. So again, it's like, OK, even though it was a back up, in many ways, I still is like,. 

Mahnur [00:43:27] Oh, wait, hold on. What? 

Victoria [00:43:29] the UK? 

Mahnur [00:43:32] How did that happen? So but you do have a position here. 

Victoria [00:43:36] Yeah, you do not know this. So they told us we weren't going to have a position. We knew we weren't going to get like the information like in the springtime when everyone else got it. Yeah, but they have like May one and a June one. Yeah. 

Mahnur [00:43:50] So the cycle. 

Victoria [00:43:51] Yeah.

Victoria [00:43:52] So the last cycle we're like, OK, like we're qualified from UK courses. There's nothing about our degrees says Cyprus or anything. So like you know, we did all the tests but they told us yeah, there's no positions for people who don't have EU visas, which meant we were all screwed. And yeah. 

Victoria [00:44:14] So at that point I was like, fine, you know, I'm just maybe I'll work, make some money, just like study for my exams or whatever. And then July. So a month after they told us there wasn't any positions, they're like, oh, just kidding. There is a position for you. And like we've learned about our deanery, which I had ranked this as my number one deanery. So it's like, oh my gosh, I got my little number one choice. Fine. Maybe I get to rank hospitals now. 

Victoria [00:44:40] No, definitely didn't get to rank anything else, did it? Gets ranked jobs and it gets ranked anything. 

Victoria [00:44:45] No control by the end of like the first week in July. 

Victoria [00:44:49] They're like, OK, you're going to which I was like, oh, OK. I don't know what that is. But you go in there like, oh yeah. Also I think a few days after that they're like, yeah, first day is July 29th. At this point it's like mid July that I'm learning about this one. So I had to get my ticket. 

Victoria [00:45:07] I had to like find a place to stay. Accommodation was full. 

Victoria [00:45:11] So I ended up in this like, kind of shady, like shared house and. 

Mahnur [00:45:17] Did The doors have locks. 

Victoria [00:45:19] They did have a lot of things. It was it was shady because of certain people in the house will say. 

Victoria [00:45:27] But yeah. And I like arrived the day before we started F1 and here I am. 

Victoria [00:45:35] No regrets. That's my story. 

Mahnur [00:45:38] That's an excellent story. That is, there are so many bits of that story that I can't wait to unpick. But that's kind of what I was saying when I first walked into this room and surprise found out about this podcast, Slash. 

Victoria [00:45:58] The rest of that conversation and really the origin story, well, part of the origin story of the podcast will be at the end of episode. 

Mahnur [00:46:07] What Was my train of thought before I threw shade? 

Victoria [00:46:09] You were saying you walked into the room? 

Mahnur [00:46:11] Oh, yeah. And when you were telling me about kind of like the question that was on the table today about kind of why medicine. I just remember again thinking like, you know, medicine is so important and we've just talked about why and the role it plays in our life and the importance that it has. But then, you know, all the other things, all the the story of how you got to medicine, all those layers and textures and the journey and the experience and college and like, you know, the people you've met and stuff like that. For me, that stuff is just so invaluable. Like, I can't even like when I think of medicine, I now think of like everybody I've met throughout med school, everybody I met in my year out, like, you know, it's so people focused. 

Victoria [00:47:00] Oh, absolutely. 

Mahnur [00:47:01] An experience focused and. 

Victoria [00:47:03] Yeah, yeah. 

Victoria [00:47:06] Everything about it. You know, like the people who go into medicine are people I would say ninety nine, no. Ninety five percent of the time are like people focused, you know what I mean. Like even if it's not I think. 

Mahnur [00:47:20] You  want to piece together the story. 

Victoria [00:47:21] Yeah you do. 

Victoria [00:47:22] You do. Anyway. This has been a lovely episode. 

Mahnur [00:47:29] It Has been a pleasure. 

Victoria [00:47:31] I'm glad that you have participated in our night shift delirium and. 

Mahnur [00:47:37] Yeah, well, it is seven a.m.. So we are at peak Delirium. 

Victoria [00:47:42] Yeah. Let's go and clean up... 

Victoria [00:47:49] Thank you all for tuning in to listen to my journey. A journey that is ever changing and ever evolving. And thank you so much for listening to whichever episodes you've listened to this season. I certainly did not expect that at the end of this season we would have over 1500 downloads and have reached 33 different countries. I'm really humbled by the amount of sharing and posting that you all have done on my behalf. I'm just a little junior doctor with a little passion project, and it's amazing knowing that the stories of the people that we've interviewed so far are having such a wide reach. 

Victoria [00:48:36] I want to thank, obviously, all of the guests from this season, every single person I've had on the podcast, I respect and inspire me. And I know that there's a lot of inspiration for others there. 

Victoria [00:48:50] And obviously, because this is my journey and this is also my podcast, I want to say thank you to my family especially. 

Victoria [00:49:00] I talk a lot about my dad in these episodes. But really, I also want to talk about my mom very briefly, who sacrificed so much for us, who encouraged me, who stayed up late with me, um, and really instilling in me this powerful ability to dream. And to the person that maybe I don't know or maybe is looking for inspiration, I would just say that this podcast is full of voices that maybe you don't realize are out there. A lot of minorities, a lot of women, a lot of people who aren't often given the microphone. This podcast absolutely is about amplifying those voices. And so I think it is important to state that when you're looking for mentors or you're looking for role models or a path to follow, don't be afraid to make your own. Every single person in this season has come across a set of choices where they, too, had to be the only one. It takes courage to dream and it takes bravery to act upon those dreams and make those goals. 

Victoria [00:50:12] OK, I won't keep going on like a never ending handover, but I will say follow us on Twitter @deliriumshift and on Instagram at @nightshiftdelirium, where we're going to be hosting some goodies like downloadable backgrounds for your phone Zoome backgrounds and things like that, and also to get information about the next season. Thank you all. It has been a pleasure. And see you on our next shift. 

Victoria [00:50:48] I was like, OK, can we just say let's just clarify. I've had this idea for this podcast for a long time. 

Victoria [00:50:54] I'm sure I've even talked about it when I was on call with you. Perhaps, but I like my mic. 

Victoria [00:51:00] Obviously, we're not using a mic right now. I was just going to say I didn't bring it with me, me, and Dot were just in here talking after, like, a break. And Sohail was like, oh, are you recording your podcast? 

Victoria [00:51:09] And I was like, no, but I should because I have it, like, you know, organized everything in the way that I want to. 

Dorothy [00:51:17] Yet you're going to have to snip this episode because it's like long. 

Victoria [00:51:20] No, I think what I'm going to actually do is break these up into like a series with a story of how this person got into medicine or whatever. 

Victoria [00:51:29] Anyway, OK,. 

 Tags:  journey, premed, xula, duke, global health, hbcu, doctor, residency, junior doctor, foundation doctor

Host: Victoria Kyerematen
Guests/Hosts: Mahnur Khan, Dorothy Abiola